When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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