It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
