No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
