I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
