420 ftw
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
