I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
