'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
