after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
