i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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