is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize