I hate your face
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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