Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm like, not good at living.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
