Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
