just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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