; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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