you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
