Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And then my night got REAL pukey
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
