They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
