When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
