Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
