There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
