Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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