Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Randomize