in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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