Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
