The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
