Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
