If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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