How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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