We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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