I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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