Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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