talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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