No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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