I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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