remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
