Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
