she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize