He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
