The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
