also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
