I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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