Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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