That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
