was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
