absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize