god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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