I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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