The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
