I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
