New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
