She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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