using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
