How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
