He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
