is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
