you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
